Testimonial for Denise Bolds MSW, CD(DONA) CLC, CBE

Two hours into the induction, Nicole’s placenta separates from her womb resulting in a massive hemorrhage and an emergency C-section. Damien called me; I arrived 27 minutes later. Damien was holding his daughter and Nicole was still in surgery. During out wait I took photos of Damien and his new baby keeping him distracted with conversation. It was during this conversation that I would find out of Nicole’s behavior that appears to be driven by untreated anxiety. As her husband Damien explained: “Nicole needs a lot of reassurances with everything.” In my intake with this couple I did ask of any anxiety/depression and I was told “None.” If Nicole had identified her feelings, I could have provided resources to support her. It is a known occurrence in the birth industry when things do not go well, at a birth it is so very easy to blame the doula. Too many times prospective pregnant client’s do not engage in behaviors that would promote low risk vaginal births s many are facing demanding jobs and the ongoing fantasy that having a new home and a ton of new things from baby showers means you are now ready to have a baby. Nothing can be more further from the truth. It is so very difficult to have clients engage in accountability. The OB came out after stabilizing Nicole post surgery and spoke with us; she said “I was asleep and all of a sudden a nurse rushes in and wakes me up.” Yes, even the OB took a sleep break as well. There were so many other actions Nicole and Damien needed to look at, including how Damien went into the recovery room with the promise he would check on Nicole and then let me in as there was another patient sharing the room. There was no other place for me to wait unless it was all the way down in the lobby. Damien ignored my repeated calls and text messages asking when could I come in and support Nicole. When he finally did pick up – I was told: “Come back tomorrow.” (part 4 continued below)

-Denise Bolds

November 26, 2018